Pride
by Writingiswhatiam
Summary: Emma is heartbroken when she returns home after an affair with a married man. She tries to pick up the pieces of her life and mend old friendships...while rekindling an old flame.
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Yeah, yeah, yeah............another Emma/Sean. I might change it but I don't know. I'm not a very big fan of Emma/Chris. Emma and Jay make an interesting couple though....so anyway. Enjoy the story. No Flames until you know what the story is about. Trust me, people!!  
  
I sat in the desk of my office. Papers swamped the oak wood, and the message light on my phone blinked persistently. I sighed and pushed the button, letting the messages play.  
"Em, it's Manny, call me. Its important," the feminine voice said.  
It's always important, I thought to myself.  
"Emma, it's Mom. When are you coming home? Call me, alright?"  
I made a note to myself to call her.  
"End of messages," the automated voice said.  
I looked through some of the papers on my desk, trying to organize them.  
"Emma," my boss' secretary, Jean, said stepping into the room.  
"Hey," I looked up from my papers.  
"Joshua wants to see you in his office."  
I smirked. "Should I be scared?"  
She laughed. "Yeah, right. You know as well as he does that he can't afford to lose you."  
I laughed with her as I made my way to Joshua's office.  
"Hey," I said, walking into his office and sitting down in a leather across from his desk.  
"Hey," he smiled at me.  
His blond hair was cut in a military style, making him look very professional. His blue eyes were hypnotizing, and his smile was...hot.  
"So, what's going on?" I asked.  
"Why do you have to sit so far away? Come over here," he held out his arms as I sat in his lap. "I missed you," he whispered.  
"Really?" I giggled. "I missed you too."  
He kissed me, sliding his hand underneath my hair and pulling me closer to him.  
I pulled back. "Are you coming over tonight?"  
He sighed. "I can't," he said gently. "Christine is having her family over. She expects me to be there."  
I narrowed my eyes at him. "I thought you said you were going to leave her."  
"I will, baby, I will," he smiled at me. "Just give me some time, okay?"  
"You said that six months ago!" I sighed and stood up.  
"Emma, come on. She's my wife, I can't just dump her in front of her family like that," he said to me.  
"Your right," I sighed. "Dammit, I hate it when you're right."  
He smiled. "If I can, I'll make an excuse to leave early. I'll come over to your apartment if I do, alright?" he walked over to me.  
I titled my head to look up at him. "Okay," I kissed him gently.  
"How's the article going?" he asked as I walked to the door.  
I turned, gave him a thumbs up sign and left.  
  
When I got home to my apartment, my golden retriever, Sunni, greeted me. "Hi, Sunni," I smiled a tennis ball for her to chase after.  
I sat down on my bed and picked up the phone to call my mom.  
"Hey Mom," I said, twirling a strand of my waist long blond hair.  
"Emma? Hi, how are you?"  
"I'm good, and you?"  
"Great. I was just wondering when you were coming home," she asked.  
"I don't know," I said. "I'm working on this article for my boss and when I'm finished I'll ask him for some vacay time."  
"Vacay? Emma, you're starting to sound more and more like a New Yorker by the minute," Mom laughed.  
"Habit, I guess," I said.  
"It's good to hear from you."  
"I know," I said. "I miss you, Mom."  
"I miss you, too, Sweetie."  
  
I lay in my bed, tossing and turning. The thought of Joshua with his wife, laughing with her, hugging her......... it made me sick to my stomach. I knew it wasn't a good idea for me to get involved with him, for heavens sake, he was a married man! But there was just something about him...he was the kind of man that you can't say no to. I tried, at first, but it became useless. I fell in love with him. He promised me that he would leave Christine. But he hasn't yet. I don't expect him to just drop her...it can't be easy. But I wasn't going to keep this up for much longer. It was me or her. 


	2. Over

To Neviegirl (I think): Emma wasn't being mean to Manny, she was being sarcastic. And as for the short thing...well you know my writing well enough by now to know that I ALWAYS write short chapters, but I ALWAYS update quickly, usually two chapters a time. I just change chapters with the topic. Some may be longer than others, but it doesn't change the quality of the story. Sorry if I confused you with the Manny thing.  
  
At about midnight, I heard a knock on the door. I rushed to answer it, checking my reflection in the mirror first. Sure enough, Joshua was there.  
"Hey," I said, smiling and letting him in.  
He smiled and kissed me, gently at first, then harder. We stripped as we made our way to my bedroom, kissing harder and more passionately.  
Afterwards, I lay in his arms, sleepy and happy.  
"That was amazing," he whispered in my ear.  
I smiled. "I'm glad you thought so. You weren't too bad yourself."  
He laughed and kissed me again. "I could do this all night," he said huskily.  
"That doesn't sound so bad to me," I said giggling.  
He chuckled. "Its tempting, it really is. But Christine thought I went to the store for some ice-cream."  
"At midnight?" I asked.  
"Yeah, she has strange eating habits," he kissed me once more before standing and getting dressed.  
I sat up, holding the sheet around me. "Will you be at work tomorrow?"  
"Of course, come to my office around noon," he winked. "We'll have lunch."  
I laughed. "I love you."  
He buttoned up his shirt and grabbed his car keys. "Me too, see you tomorrow."  
I sighed and flopped back on the bed. I knew I shouldn't be doing this, but I couldn't stop. He was just so sexy, and so hard to resist. I couldn't help myself. True, he was ten years older than me and he was married...but I love him. Things will work out. I silently wondered why it sounded like I was trying to convince myself.  
  
At work the next day, I was distracted by the ticking of the clock that hung on my wall. I tried my best to work on the article.  
"The stars publicist denies any contact between her and the victim...however sources say that Kimberly Jackson had been seen with the man that was murdered..." I typed into the computer. I looked up at the clock. 15 til noon, and I still couldn't concentrate.  
Flustered, I saved the half-written article and walked to Joshua's office.  
I opened the door without knocking.  
He was in his chair. A girl with short red hair was on top of him. They were half-undressed and getting more physical.  
They jerked apart and the woman left in a hurry.  
"What the hell was that?" I asked, enraged.  
"She's my wife, Emma," he said. "She just came by to see me."  
"Well it looks like she saw you!"  
"Come on, Em," he said. "Don't be mad. Lets go get lunch."  
"I'm not hungry," I said.  
"Well, then let's go to your place," he said with a wink.  
"No thanks," I retorted.  
"Actually, we need to talk," he said.  
I took a step back. "About...?"  
"About us. Christine's pregnant," he said. "I can't leave her until the baby comes."  
It felt like my world crashed around me. My breathing became rapid and my heart stopped. "So you're not leaving her?"  
"Yet. I'm not leaving her yet," he said.  
"When?" I asked.  
"About a year," he said.  
"A year...no...Josh, I'm not doing this anymore," I said.  
"What?"  
"I'm not doing this anymore. It isn't right, you're married and you have a baby on the way...and you need to be with them. I can't see you anymore," I angrily wiped the tears from my eyes.  
"Emma..."  
"Josh stop. I quit," I said.  
"You can't quit," he said.  
"I just did." I walked out of his office, slamming the door.  
I walked to my office and threw the contents of my life into a box before driving to my appointment. I packed up some important things and took Sunni. We were going home. 


	3. Home

Thank you!!! Sorry for the short chapter!!!  
  
I pulled up in the driveway of Mom's house at around four in the morning. For awhile, I sat there, staring. Finally, I backed out of the driveway and drove to The Dot, which was now open 24 hours a day. I pulled up in the parking lot. The place was nearly deserted. I walked in and sat down at the counter.  
"Can I help you?" A guy turned around. My breath stopped. My heart started beating wildly. I saw the dark hair...the brown eyes. The irresistible smirk.... Jay.  
"Yeah," I said, regaining composure. "I'd like a cappuccino, please?"  
  
"One cap, what flavor?" he said.  
"French Vanilla," I answered.  
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" he whispered. "That'll be two fifty."  
  
I handed him the money and waited for my coffee.  
"What brings you back here?" he asked. "Last I heard you were a hotshot reporter in New York."  
"Things change," I said.  
"What did you sleep with your boss or something?"  
I eyed him. He's just guessing...he doesn't know. "Of course not."  
"Yeah...that would mean you actually do something wrong," he taunted.  
I laughed nervously. "Do you know any where that's hiring around here?"  
"We're hiring..." he said. "But Emma Nelson is too good...to pure to work with coffee and food all day."  
"Want to bet? Give me an application."  
He raised his eyebrows and pulled an application out from under the counter. "I'm impressed, Nelson. Maybe you're not such a prude anymore."  
I glared at him.  
"Ouch, Blondie, that hurts," he said, flipping a piece of my hair.  
I laughed. "You know what, you have gotten really funny...too bad your still a dork."  
He grabbed his chest. "Ouch...you broke my heart! Oh no!!!" he pretended to die.  
I couldn't help but laugh. "Too bad that wasn't for real!"  
He stood up. "Now that hurt, Nelson," he was still joking.  
It was fun, being made fun of by Jay. I know its weird...but it told me that I was home. 


	4. Havin' Fun

I pulled up in Mom's driveway at about seven in the morning. I figured she would be up by then. I was right, because when I knocked on the door, she answered within seconds.  
"Emma?" she asked.  
"Hi, Mom," I said.  
She looked at the car and saw the boxes of stuff. "What happened?"  
"It's a long story, Mom," I said.  
She looked into my eyes...and it was like she could sense the pain. She moved aside and let Sunni and me in. I sat down on the couch, Sunni at my feet.  
"You've had your heartbroken, haven't you Em?" she asked.  
"I guess you could say that," I answered.  
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.  
"Not right now," I said. "I applied at The Dot, but I was wondering if I could stay here for awhile?"  
"Of course, honey, of course you can," she said. "Your room downstairs is still just like you left it...but its probably a little more dusty," she joked.  
I laughed. "Yeah, probably."  
I tried to get over it. I tried to heal and be happy.  
  
I received a phone call the next day from The Dot, saying that I had the job. I nearly freaked when they told me what shift I had. Graveyard. Same as Jay. I sighed and told them that I would be able to come into work that night.  
  
I walked into The Dot slowly, wanting to disappear. I couldn't believe this was happening.  
"Here for another coffee, Blondie?" he teased.  
"Guess again," I said, walking behind the counter.  
"So they hired you?" he asked.  
"Yep," I said.  
"Oh brother," he said.  
Just then the door opened, and my heart stopped. Joshua. Oh my god. I turned around, hoping he didn't see me.  
"Emma," he said. it was too late. "Can we talk?"  
"No."  
"Come on, I left her. We're getting a divorce..." I could feel Jay gaping at me.  
I turned to face him. "It doesn't matter, Joshua, its over. She's pregnant...you need to be with your wife."  
"I told her about us. She was so pissed..."  
"Joshua get out of here."  
"Man, if your going to order something then do it. Otherwise get out," Jay said.  
"Emma," he started.  
"Get out of here," I said.  
he looked at me, sighed and left.  
I leaned against the counter, feeling drained.  
"Who was that? Did you have an affair with a married man?" he asked.  
"Not only was he married," I said. "He was my boss."  
He chuckled. "So, Nelson, you're not a prude anymore."  
I laughed.  
"Lets celebrate, lets go out for a drink. We change shifts at three," he said.  
I looked at him. God, he was hot. "Alright."  
  
I downed the third beer and bought another. "Dang, Blondie, take it easy."  
"I don't want to take it easy," I said.  
I was starting to feel dizzy. I knew I was getting drunk, but I didn't really care. I was having fun.  
  
I woke up and felt somebody's arms around me. I smiled and snuggled closer. Then I opened my eyes. Jay. I shot up. "Oh my God," I said.  
He sat up and our eyes met. "What happened?" I asked. 


	5. Confessions

Thank you to my faithful reviewers. ( Thanks to lvlynebula who helped me come up with the last chapter.  
  
"Tell me nothing happened," I begged.  
"I'm as freaked out as you are," he said.  
He stood and crossed the room to his closet. He opened the door....there was a video camera!  
"You do know that's illegal, right?" I asked.  
"Oh please," he said. "It's not what you think. I have a lot of enemies, so I put up security camera's."  
He took a tape out and crossed the room. He put in a VCR and pushed 'play'. On the tape:  
I kissed him...and then I passed out. End of tape:  
"Thank God," I said.  
He stopped the tape and sat down next to me.  
"So you do have a heart," I teased.  
"Yeah, well, don't tell anyone," he muttered.  
Our eyes met, and we drew closer and closer. We kissed and it was amazing. I fell back on the bed, with him on top of me. Kissing harder and harder.  
Suddenly, I came to my senses. I pushed him off of me and stood up. "I can't...I'm sorry, but I can't."  
"Emma..."  
"I'm sorry," I said. I grabbed my things and rushed out of his apartment and down to my car.  
I saw him watching in the window as I pulled out.  
  
I walked into Mom's house.  
"Hey, where were you all night?" she asked.  
"I went to a bar with a friend, is that okay?" I asked.  
"Emma, you're twenty-two, you can do what you want."  
I smiled.  
"So, there was a young man that stopped in here last night. Well, sort of young."  
I stopped dead in my tracks. "Blond hair, enticing smile?"  
"Yeah that's him," she said. "I told him you were working at The Dot."  
"Yeah, he came there."  
"You don't seem very happy about it," she said.  
"I'm not," I answered.  
"Is he the reason you left New York?"  
"Yeah," I said.  
"Want to tell me what happened?"  
I sighed. "When I first started working at that newspaper office, Joshua was coming on to me. He was my boss, and he was married so I said no at first. But after a while, I gave up. I thought I loved him. The affair went on for about seven months and then his wife got pregnant. I refused to let him leave her for me," I told her. I worried that she would think I was a slut and that I was immoral.  
Instead she hugged me. "Emma, honey, I'm so sorry."  
"You're not mad?" I asked.  
"Of course not. Everybody makes mistakes sometimes," she said.  
"I was afraid you would be mad," I told her. "I feel really bad about it. I feel like I only kept the job because I was sleeping with him and not because I was good at writing."  
"Emma, don't let that creep make you doubt your talent. You are a great reporter," she said. "And you kept the job because you were a great reporter, regardless of who was sleeping with him."  
I smiled, "Thanks, Mom." 


	6. Circumstances

Thank you everyone! I am having a little bit of a problem. So, if anyone has any suggestions for the Jay/Emma situation, please tell me in your review.  
  
I was in my room changing into a black tank-top and a pair of tight fitting jeans when someone knocked on the door.  
"Who is it?" I yelled, brushing my hair.  
"Its Snake...I want to show you something," he said.  
"I'll be out in a minute," I called.  
I went upstairs and Snake pulled me out into the driveway.  
"Look at what Spike bought me for our anniversary," he said.  
He pointed to a black, shiny motorcycle. "Snake, that is awesome!" I said.  
"I know!" he laughed.  
"Are you staying for dinner?" Mom asked.  
"I can't, I have to get to work early and fill out some paperwork or something," I said, opening my car door.  
I turned the key in the ignition...but it didn't start. I tried it again. "Oh no," I muttered. The engine whined but didn't start.  
"What's wrong?" Mom asked.  
"It won't start," I said, getting out of the car.  
"We'll call the mechanic's and have him come look at it," Snake said.  
  
"How am I going to get to work?"  
"Take the motorcycle," Snake offered.  
"Are you sure?" I asked.  
"Yeah, go ahead. Be careful," he said as I got on it and put the helmet on.  
  
I pulled up in The Dot's parking lot and got off the motorcycle.  
"Nice," Jay said coming out.  
"It's my step-dad's. My car broke down," I said.  
He laughed. "That's funny. So why are you here so early?"  
"Just felt like it," I answered.  
"Can't get enough of me, can you?" he asked.  
"Whatever you say," I said.  
"I know, you're into me."  
"Whatever."  
"Whatever," he mocked. "Could you be more preppy if you tried?"  
"Probably." 


	7. Flashback

Jay and I walked into The Dot and I stopped in my tracks. Chris was in the back, clearing a table.  
"Jay..." my voice came out as a whisper. My throat closed up, I could hardly breathe. "Come on, why don't we go upstairs?" His voice was pleading.  
"I really don't think that's a good idea, Chris," I said.  
"Come on," he pulled me up the stairs.  
"Chris..." I protested.  
He didn't listen.   
  
"Emma...what's wrong?" Jay's hand gripped my shoulder.  
"Tell me he's not there," I begged. "Tell me that Chris isn't standing there."  
"He is...what's the big deal?"  
He saw me...and our eyes met. He grinned and headed my way.  
"No," I said. "Dammit....NO!"  
I walked calmly into the back and leaned against the wall. I tried to calm myself down...tried to breath.  
"Emma, what's going on?" Jay followed me.  
"Chris...he..." I could hardly breath. Tears started to pour down my cheeks.  
"Emma...I've never seen you like this before," Jay said.  
"He raped me," I choked out.  
He stood there, staring. He looked so pissed off...and then Chris walked up behind him.  
Tears poured down my cheeks as I stared at him.  
Jay turned around. "You bastard," he said. He lunged at him, punching him and cussing at him.  
"Jay..." I protested. "Jay stop!"  
They were fighting, knocking things over. Jay could get fired for this.  
I grabbed his arm. "Jay, don't...come on," I said. "Please stop."  
"Like he stopped?" he said. "Like he stopped when you begged him to?"  
  
I was crying harder now. "Jay, don't do this. Okay?"  
"Get out of here, Chris," Jay said, trying to control himself. "Get out of here before I kill you."  
When Chris sauntered off, I threw my arms around Jay's neck and kissed him. 


	8. Closer

Jay and I skipped work that day and went to his apartment. We sat on his bed, he put a hand on my shoulder to comfort me.  
"Jay..." I protested.  
"I'm sorry..." he said.  
"Its okay...I'm sorry for freaking out," I wiped the tears away.  
"He really hurt you, didn't he?" he asked. He looked like he didn't know what to do.  
"Yeah, you could say that," I answered.  
"What happened?"  
"After...the rape, I went to the doctor. She said...that the rape was so traumatic and that he had done so much damage," my voice broke. I tried to keep from crying, "that I would be lucky if I ever had children."  
"Oh my God," he muttered.  
"It's okay...I've dealt with it. I just thought that he wasn't here anymore...I thought he was gone. But he wasn't....Jay, what am I going to do?"  
"It's okay," he said. "I wont let him hurt you."  
I looked at him, and our eyes locked. I couldn't have looked away if I had tried. And then...something I never dreamed of happening happened. He kissed me. He wasn't testing me, he wasn't teasing me, it was a REAL comforting kiss. We fell back on the bed, kissing. I slid my hands under his shirt, feeling his chest...his skin.  
"Are you sure?" he asked when I slipped my shirt over my head.  
I answered him with a kiss and pulled him closer.  
He was gentle, not rough and hurting like Joshua...not traumatic like Chris. He was gentle and loving.... He made me feel like he wanted me, not my body. Me.  
Afterwards I lay in his arms, my back to him. He traced small circles on my back and kissed my shoulder and my neck. I turned to face him.  
"You don't think I'm easy, do you?" I asked.  
"Of course not," he said.  
"I was just making sure," I answered.  
"Well, you're not easy," he kissed me. "I love you, Emma."  
I smiled. "I love you too."  
I fell asleep before long.  
I woke up with the sun shining in my eyes. I turned to Jay and shook him gently.  
"Hey," he said sleepily.  
"Hey," my voice matched his.  
Then the door opened and a toddler stood in the doorway. "Daddy?" 


	9. Truth

A/N: for the people who thought Chris raping Emma was racist...it had nothing to do with him being black. It never even crossed my mind...I swear. And I'm sorry if I offended anyone.  
  
I about fainted. "Sarah," he said. "Go into the kitchen, I'll be out in a minute."  
I was freaking out. I stood and dressed. "What the hell is that about? Why didn't you freaking tell me you had a kid?"  
"Emma calm down..." he said.  
"You're not married are you?"  
"No, I'm not married..."  
"Then who's is she?" I asked.  
"Alex..."  
"Oh my God..."  
"EMMA!" he shouted. "Calm down!"  
I sank onto the bed. "What the fuck is going on, Jay?" I asked.  
"Alex and I had a daughter a few years ago. A month after Sarah was born, she took off with some guy from California. We haven't heard from her sense."  
"So you're not seeing anyone?" I asked.  
"No, I'm not," he said. "I wouldn't do that to you."  
"Okay, I'm sorry for freaking out."  
"Its alright, I would have too."  
  
We went out into the kitchen and he introduced me to Sarah. She was adorable, she had the cutest little voice and she always had a teddy bear with her. She was really sweet. I didn't see how anyone could have the heart to leave such a precious little girl. 


	10. Not what you think

I owe credit to Lvlynebula, without you I'm sure I would lose my mind! LOL! So, anyway, thank you for all of the support you have given me. And thank you for helping come up with the next few chapters. (  
  
I got out of my car for work the next day and stopped dead in my tracks. Joshua. He was standing a few feet away from me, grinning. He walked up.  
"Hey," he said.  
"What do you want?" I asked.  
"You," he ran his finger down the side of my cheek. "Come back to me, let me make you happy. I can make you happy."  
"No, Joshua, you need to be with your wife."  
He kissed me. I tried to pull away but he was too strong. Finally I kneed him and managed to step away.  
"Get out of here and leave me alone, please," I begged.  
"You haven't seen the last of me, Em."  
As he walked off, I leaned against my car. My life was falling apart and I couldn't do a thing to stop it. That didn't feel very good.  
I walked into the Dot and Jay looked at me.  
"Hi," I said, smiling at him. I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him.  
He grabbed my wrists and pushed me away. "Emma I saw you with Joshua out there."  
"It's not what you think," I tried to explain. "He...Jay, come on listen to me," I brushed my finger against his lips.  
He pulled back. "Don't touch me. I don't ever want to touch you again! I should have known...I mean you were having an affair with a married man for heaven's sake!"  
I slapped him. "That isn't what happened."  
"I don't want to hear it."  
  
"I don't know what to do, Mom," I said after I had explained everything.  
"Here's what you need to do, okay?" she asked. She put her hands on my shoulders. "You need to take a break and go to New York to get the rest of your things. Then you will come back here and try to work things out with Jay, I'm sure he just misunderstood, okay?"  
I nodded, wiping tears away. I called my boss, explaining that I was in the middle of moving and needed sometime off. After that, I got in my car and headed to New York. 


	11. Accident

Just to clear up any confusion, this chapter takes place two weeks after chapter 9, okay?  
  
It started raining, and it became hard to see. I squinted, trying to see. The road was nearly deserted except for a semi truck.  
All of the sudden, headlights came racing toward me.  
"You idiot, you're in my lane!" I said blowing my horn. They weren't slowing down. They were going to hit me. I swerved the car and crashed into the guardrail before I blacked out.  
  
I blinked, opening my eyes. I was in a white room, laying in what felt like a hospital bed.  
"Emma," Moms voice came from beside me as I felt her hand on my forehead. "Thank God you're all right,"  
"What happened?" I asked. My throat was dry.  
"Hang on, I'll go get the doctor," she said before rushing off.  
A few seconds later a doctor came in. "Excuse me, Miss Nelson...I need a few moments with your daughter, if that's alright?"  
"okay, Emma, there's a few questions I need to ask you," she said after Mom left.  
I nodded. "Can I have something to drink?"  
She handed me a bottle of water. "Now...do you know why you swerved off of the road?"  
I tried to remember. "There was a car coming," I said.  
She nodded. "Is there a chance you can be pregnant?"  
I hung my head and said, "No...uh a few years ago I was raped. The doctor who examined me said that there was so much damage, that I wouldn't be able to have children."  
"Oh, I'm sorry...I wouldn't have asked if I had known."  
"It's okay."  
"When did you have sex last?" she asked.  
"About two weeks ago," I answered.  
She nodded and made a note on her clipboard.  
  
The nurse came in later with my dinner.  
"You're lucky, Miss Nelson. With a car wreck like that, you could have lost the baby."  
"The baby?" I asked.  
"Yes...but nope, he's a strong one, that baby. Well, he or she," the nurse laughed. "Congrats."  
"You must be mistaken...I'm not pregnant," I said.  
"You are Emma Nelson?" she asked.  
"Yes," I said.  
"Then you're pregnant."  
"That can't be..."  
"The results are right here," she showed me a piece of paper.  
"Oh my God," I said. "I'm pregnant."  
I looked up and saw Jay standing in the doorway. 


End file.
